On relationships...

For dessert, we ordered two crémes caramel.

When the crémes arrived, M received a large, but messy portion which looked as if it had fallen over in the kitchen and I a tiny, but perfectly formed one. As soon as the waiter had stepped out of eyeshot, M reached over and swapped my plate for hers. 'Don't steal my dessert,' I said incensed. 'I thought you wanted the bigger one,' she replied, no less affronted. 'You're just trying to get the better one.' 'I'm not, I'm trying to be nice to you. Stop being suspicious.' 'I will if you give me back my portion.'

In only a few moments, we had plunged into a shameful interlude where beneath infantile rounds of bickering there stirred mutual terrors of incompatibility and infidelity.

From 'The Art of Travel' by Alain de Botton.